Sunday, 27 January 2013

gold bugs are persistent.blind, but persistent

I realise that the gold bugs and silver bugs
are right about how their metals are the
answer to the fall of fiat money.
Their persistent reporting is good. One day
it will lead to the fall of fiat money.

However, they often talk sh*t like
"Gold to a million tomorrow" that
makes them look like kids in a candy
store.

They also can't see the obvious in front of
them.
The Bank of England (bullion storage) chose
to do some public obfuscation by...opening
its doors to the Queen and to a Professor Fopp.

The Prof goes in and waxes eloquent about
the shiny stuff. What do the bugs say?
"The Chem prof didn't talk about
re-hypothecation" I suppose they're half-joking. 
Prof says "this can't all be real", and the bugs
call the shiny stuff tungsten gold which
would be fraud.
Why didn't they offer to give the prof a hacksaw?

Why would you have a Chemistry professor go into
a gold vault if he was not allowed to test what he sees.
The first rule of chemistry is don't make assumptions,
test the f%&&king thing.

They could have discussed how it is possible to
detect if a metal is what the BoE says it is. There
must be a tester. They should have torn the
prof a new ass for not doing that.
Since the time of this piece of Precious Metals theatre
half the world is asking for their gold back.

Venezuela
Azerbaijan
Switzerland
Germany
Holland

So, much of what the prof was gazing at will be leaving
London soon. Time for an English Job. The best
cure for unemployment.

What will the countries get back? if they're given
tungsten, what will they do? Will they scream
"fraud" or just shut up, so as not to rock the markets?




check this:  Silver doctors
Chemistry Professor Tours BOE’s Gold Vault: “It Can’t Possibly Be Real!”
Posted on December 9, 2012 by The Doc| 10 Comments
In what is no doubt a propaganda piece designed to attempt to slow the gold repatriation and audit request freight train, the Bank of England has taken the unprecedented step to allow University of Nottingham chemistry Professor Martyn Poliakoff to take a video tour of the BOE’s gold vault.
Poliakoff excitedly proclaims that he has never seen this much tungsten gold (or this much of ANY element he clarifies), and states that his gut tells him that “one’s first reaction is that it can’t possibly be real“.
Poliakoff lets out a little too much truth in his interview (perhaps the BOE should have commissioned someone from the BBC to conduct the interview rather than a Chemistry professor?), stating that the reason the BOE and the central banks keep so much of their reserves in gold is because the value of gold is very stable compared to the value of currencies.
He also explains how the futures market really works: Each bar has a serial number, and when people buy and trade the gold, they don’t actually take the bar home, the number is just transferred from the seller’s account to the buyer’s account. (What Poliakoff doesn’t mention is whether each bar has been rehypothecated to numerous owners as Ned Naylor-Leyland discovered was the case with Bop Pisani’s GLD bar last spring)
 

Hurricanes wash out the bad

 good to see that the non-governmental help
provided to New York was arranged by
the Occupy people. The government was absent,
except for the police, who would otherwise
be guarding their Banksters.

So, one illegal, corrupt group gets together
with a publically-minded body that arises
from the community.
The police, usually corrupted, have seen
the light, and congratulated Occupy.

read 'em:  ANIMALNY

NYC’s Unlikeliest Crime-Fighting Duo:
By Andy Cush | December 6, 2012 - 02:30PM
In the days after Hurricane Sandy, some of the city’s hardest-hit areas were subject to a wave of looting driven by the widespread loss of power. But not Red Hook–the waterfront Brooklyn neighborhood was protected by an uncanny joining of forces between two of New York’s most embittered rivals: the NYPD and the Occupy movement. According to police sources, cops and occupiers hooked up to distribute food and blankets, police used their cruisers’ headlights to light the darkened streets, and community organizers worked in offices alongside police and representatives of the mayor. “It was intense, it was working, and it was awesome,” said Occupy activist Kirby Desmaris. “There was a shift in the energy in the community.”
Even the cops agreed. “This crisis allowed us all to remove the politics and differences we had to do our job, and come to the aid of the people,” said one officer. “We all rose to the occasion.”
And with that, I leave you this:

Mish says you can work for 400 bucks a month

Some mothers do have 'em, and so does
the Internet. I guess you can like the
investigative reporting of one person while
hating their politics. Mish is just such a
guy for me.

He'll say that banks are ripping us off,
but let's not tax the rich. It's regressive.
#sarc

He doesn't like government, or unions,
but without those, you can see how
difficult it is in the US for the worker
to fight against his constructive
destruction from outsourced jobs
by vulture capitalist, to
lost real wages, and blackmailing
with cuts in pay.
And yet, Mish shows no sympathy
to any worker, ever.

So Mish argues the libertarian line,
"if you can be screwed, you will
be and that's that"
He hails the destruction of unions in the US.
He hails workers who spend  the whole
year on the road, like a gypsy, as a solution
to the employment problem.
He ignores the tax handouts that companies
get and their offshoring of profits.

Just because he gets paid to sit at a computer,
he is able to have no truck with the fate of the
Great Unwashed.
I hate that sh*t.

Every once in a while he trips over one of his
ideas in action. If you destroy manufacturing
and unions, you get a lack of skills.
The desire of companies to have highly skilled
Americans work for 10 bucks
an hour finds no employees. The reason is
that it's hard to live on 10 bucks an hour and
also worry about losing a hand, or your job,
every day. That's the result of the race to
the bottom in employee arbitrage.

What's his solution? uhm, more robots:

checkit:  1 Mish  [when the tax breaks for machines lead to one-man factories, what will we do then, Mish?]

Apple to Relaunch Manufacturing in US, Net Result +200 Jobs; Lights Out
In bits and pieces, manufacturing is returning to the US. Unfortunately, jobs (at least human jobs) are not returning as well.
For a case in point, the Fiscal Times reports Apple’s Big Manufacturing Boom to the U.S. — 200 Jobs.
    At the end of last week, CEO Timothy Cook announced that Apple intends to invest $100 million next year to relaunch part of its manufacturing operations in the US.
    Apple and Foxconn, the contractor responsible for manufacturing iPhones, iPads and a host of other Apple products in China and other countries, is expanding its existing operations in America to build Mac computers. How many jobs will it create? About 200—a number that wouldn’t even get you noticed in the Fortune 1000.
    Last year the Boston Consulting Group published a study forecasting a “manufacturing renaissance” in the U.S. as China’s wage rates and currency rise, skilled workers grow scarcer, and U.S. productivity maintains a strong lead over China’s. Apple thus joins a group of U.S. companies—Caterpillar, Ford, NCR—that have already reckoned that “Made in USA” makes good business sense.
    Something important is happening here. With the rapid emergence of China, India, and other developing countries as “middle income nations,” the classic cheap-labor-for-exports model is losing its primacy. So, it appears, is the automatic assumption that wage rates more or less dictate where a manufacturer will locate. As Boston Consulting argued, in the future companies such as Apple will manufacture in China for the Chinese market and in America for American consumers.

    It will be interesting, with these studies in view, to see how manufacturing fares in the U.S. in coming years. We still have 2 million fewer manufacturing jobs than we did pre-crisis back in 2007. And do not forget: Apple is all about iPads and iPhones now; the Macs coming back account for less than a fifth of its revenue. It still promises some jobs. But what is good for Apple may not prove good for everybody making things. This is not the beginning of a gold rush.

Forces in Play
    Rise in labor costs abroad
    Theft of intellectual property
    Productivity
    Automation
    Shipping costs
    Diminishing tax advantages of overseas production
... The actual numbers are irrelevant, the enormous trend towards lights-out manufacturing and robotics is not.
The more robots are in use, the more labor costs are irrelevant, and the more manufacturing will return. It's that simple. 

2 He argues against unions, but unions kept the 
manufacturing employees pay at normal real
levels. For the rest of us, nominal wages have 
stagnated, but inflation (really 5-10%/year) has
eaten up our pay. THanks again, Mish



Mish
Obama to Close "Skills Gap"; Where? How? Why is the Middle Class Shrinking? Living Wages
President Obama says there is a "skills gap". A quick search says that many misguided souls believe the president.
For example Forbes writer Rich Karlgaard says The Skills Gap Exists.
Karlgaard believes the "gap is sure to grow as the population ages and industries from health care to manufacturing are altered by technology. Outsourcing to China won’t be the answer, either. Its population is aging the fastest of all the major economies."
Vicki Needham writing for The Hill says Skills gap is hampering labor market.
Needham, citing a report by Deloitte says "job creation in the United States is hampered by a lack of highly skilled and adaptable workers whose talents don't match current job openings".
... Skills Don't Pay the Bills
The above columnists express widely believed economic hooey.
In contrast, Adam Davidson, in his New York Times column, Skills Don’t Pay the Bills, precisely summarizes the problem in four deep thoughts.
Deep Thoughts
    There is no skills gap.
    Who will operate a highly sophisticated machine for $10 an hour?
    Not a lot of people.
    As a result, there is going to be a skills gap.
Davidson visited the engineering technology program at Queensborough Community College in New York City led by instructor Joseph Goldenberg whose manufacturing classroom consisted of "nothing but computers".
With that introduction, inquiring minds tune in a bit closer to some snips from Davidson.
    Nearly six million factory jobs, almost a third of the entire manufacturing industry, have disappeared since 2000. And while many of these jobs were lost to competition with low-wage countries, even more vanished because of computer-driven machinery that can do the work of 10, or in some cases, 100 workers. Those jobs are not coming back, but many believe that the industry’s future (and, to some extent, the future of the American economy) lies in training a new generation for highly skilled manufacturing jobs — the ones that require people who know how to run the computer that runs the machine.
    Running these machines requires a basic understanding of metallurgy, physics, chemistry, pneumatics, electrical wiring and computer code. It also requires a worker with the ability to figure out what’s going on when the machine isn’t working properly. And aspiring workers often need to spend a considerable amount of time and money taking classes like Goldenberg’s to even be considered. Every one of Goldenberg’s students, he says, will probably have a job for as long as he or she wants one.

REVERSE MILESTONES, as WE RETURN to the DARK AGES



As you can see below, the oligarchy
doesn't need to be a conspiracy, to 
be effective. They're ticking off all
their little boxes on the sheet 
with a title:
Return all those Wastrels to the Dark Ages

Everything that our ancestors fought
for is now a sentence on a checklist,
to be undone now under cover of the
manufactured crisis.

It is not just "One wishes it so".
There's an pseudo-economic theory
that lies behind all this. It provides 
cover for all the tele-murderers,
in suits and ties.

Indeed, since 1970, this dogma has been
King of Economics around the world.
Neo-libs pushed out everybody else,
especially Keynesians.

Goodbye Keynes, hello Keen.
Watch out for Steve Keen. If anybody
can sweep out the neo-libs,
he can do it.

checkitout:  The Guardian

If you think we're done with neoliberalism, think again
The global application of a fraudulent economic theory brought the west to its knees. Yet for those in power, it offers riches
        George Monbiot        
       Monday 14 January 2013 20.30 GMT         
       Jump to comments (675)
‘The demands of the ultra-rich have been dressed up as sophisticated economic theory and applied regardless of the outcome.' Illustration:
How they must bleed for us. In 2012, the world's 100 richest people became $241 billion richer. They are now worth $1.9 trillion: just a little less than the entire output of the United Kingdom.
This is not the result of chance. The rise in the fortunes of the super-rich is the direct result of policies. Here are a few: the reduction of tax rates and tax enforcement; governments' refusal to recoup a decent share of revenues from minerals and land; the privatisation of public assets and the creation of a toll-booth economy; wage liberalisation and the destruction of collective bargaining.

The policies that made the global monarchs so rich are the policies squeezing everyone else. This is not what the theory predicted. Friedrich Hayek, Milton Friedman and their disciples – in a thousand business schools, the IMF, the World Bank, the OECD and just about every modern government – have argued that the less governments tax the rich, defend workers and redistribute wealth, the more prosperous everyone will be. Any attempt to reduce inequality would damage the efficiency of the market, impeding the rising tide that lifts all boats. The apostles have conducted a 30-year global experiment, and the results are now in. Total failure.
Before I go on, I should point out that I don't believe perpetual economic growth is either sustainable or desirable. But if growth is your aim – an aim to which every government claims to subscribe – you couldn't make a bigger mess of it than by releasing the super-rich from the constraints of democracy.
Last year's annual report by the UN Conference on Trade and Development should have been an obituary for the neoliberal model developed by Hayek and Friedman and their disciples. It shows unequivocally that their policies have created the opposite outcomes to those they predicted. As neoliberal policies (cutting taxes for the rich, privatising state assets, deregulating labour, reducing social security) began to bite from the 1980s onwards, growth rates started to fall and unemployment to rise.
The remarkable growth in the rich nations during the 50s, 60s and 70s was made possible by the destruction of the wealth and power of the elite, as a result of the 1930s depression and the second world war. Their embarrassment gave the other 99% an unprecedented chance to demand redistribution, state spending and social security, all of which stimulated demand.
Neoliberalism was an attempt to turn back these reforms. Lavishly funded by millionaires, its advocates were amazingly successful – politically. Economically they flopped.
Throughout the OECD countries taxation has become more regressive: the rich pay less, the poor pay more. The result, the neoliberals claimed, would be that economic efficiency and investment would rise, enriching everyone. The opposite occurred. As taxes on the rich and on business diminished, the spending power of both the state and poorer people fell, and demand contracted. The result was that investment rates declined, in step with companies' expectations of growth.
The neoliberals also insisted that unrestrained inequality in incomes and flexible wages would reduce unemployment. But throughout the rich world both inequality and unemployment have soared. The recent jump in unemployment in most developed countries – worse than in any previous recession of the past three decades – was preceded by the lowest level of wages as a share of GDP since the second world war.[THE END] Bang goes the theory. It failed for the same obvious reason: low wages suppress demand, which suppresses employment.
As wages stagnated, people supplemented their income with debt. Rising debt fed the deregulated banks, with consequences of which we are all aware. The greater inequality becomes, the UN report finds, the less stable the economy and the lower its rates of growth. The policies with which neoliberal governments seek to reduce their deficits and stimulate their economies are counter-productive.
The impending reduction of the UK's top rate of income tax (from 50% to 45%) will not boost government revenue or private enterprise, but it will enrich the speculators who tanked the economy. Goldman Sachs and other banks are now thinking of delaying their bonus payments to take advantage of it. The welfare bill approved by parliament last week will not help to clear the deficit or stimulate employment: it will reduce demand, suppressing economic recovery. The same goes for the capping of public sector pay. "Relearning some old lessons about fairness and participation," the UN says, "is the only way to eventually overcome the crisis and pursue a path of sustainable economic development."
As I say, I have no dog in this race, except a belief that no one, in this sea of riches, should have to be poor. But staring dumbfounded at the lessons unlearned in Britain, Europe and the US, it strikes me that the entire structure of neoliberal thought is a fraud. The demands of the ultra-rich have been dressed up as sophisticated economic theory and applied regardless of the outcome. The complete failure of this world-scale experiment is no impediment to its repetition. This has nothing to do with economics. It has everything to do with power.

Internet Martyr Aaron Schwarz

I can't say anything new about Aaron because
I discovered his legacy after his death-by
warrant suicide.

He will be remembered as an Internet martyr,
especially if this free-speech battle
continues to rage, as it has.

I can however see that he was working with
other good folks, like some of those I follow
(see below). I always like it when like-
minded people get together to fight
the impossible fight against the
unseen oppressors of free speech.

I'm just an interested bystander. These
folks are doing the hard work:

Checkitout: Naked capitalism

Aaron Swartz’s Politics
Aaron Swartz was my friend, and I will always miss him. I think it’s important that, as we remember him, we remember that Aaron had a much broader agenda than the information freedom fights for which he had become known. Most people have focused on Aaron’s work as an advocate for more open information systems, because that’s what the Feds went after him for, and because he’s well-understood as a technologist who founded Reddit and invented RSS. But I knew a different side of him. I knew Aaron as a political activist interested in health care, financial corruption, and the drug war (we were working on a project on that just before he died). He was a great technologist, for sure, but when we were working together that was not all I saw.
In 2009, I was working in Rep. Alan Grayson’s office as a policy advisor. We were engaged in fights around the health care bill that eventually became Obamacare, as well as a much narrower but significant fight on auditing the Federal Reserve that eventually became a provision in Dodd-Frank. Aaron came into our office to intern for a few weeks to learn about Congress and how bills were put together. He worked with me on organizing the campaign within the Financial Services Committee to pass the amendment sponsored by Ron Paul and Alan Grayson on transparency at the Fed. He helped with the website NamesOfTheDead.com, a site dedicated to publicizing the 44,000 Americans that die every year because they don’t have health insurance. Aaron learned about Congress by just spending time there, which seems like an obvious thing to do. Many activists prefer to keep their distance from policymakers, because they are afraid of the complexity of the system and believe that it is inherently corrupting. Aaron, as with much of his endeavors, simply let his curiosity, which he saw as synonymous with brilliance, drive him....

50 years: Uppitty minority goes from target to shooter

I think that the (political) assassination of
Martin Luther King, Jr. by the US government
(see case review below) was classified as:
Shoot Uppitty Black Guy & Awe
That's all the justification the US needed
back them.

It's odd now that a nominally black president
(Fifty shades of Black, Blindingly white mother)
is basking in the glow of MLKJr, who was 
targeted, and yet he is now the targetter.
That's the difference between
January 1963 and January 2013

He signs off on all the extra-judicial assassinations
of Americans, around the world, and all drone kills.

Check this for a video game set up:


[drone killers  "ya. I'm collecting O'Bama's signature. Got his baseball card"]
[This is the work for you if you just can't leave the Nintendo alone]

How far the world has come! 
"Bruthas" got access to the big red nuke button
"Bruthas" can sit in the Office and dispense
with people's lives.
uhm, that might not be so new, but it usually
was drug dealers who ordered killings, previously.


BTW it was good timing Ms King, to avenge your
husbands assassination this week:


Read 'em: Global research ca
Court Decision: U.S. “Government Agencies” Found Guilty in Martin Luther King’s Assassination
Circuit Court of Shelby County, Tennessee Thirtieth Judicial District at Memphis, December 1999
By Carl Herman
Global Research, January 22, 2013
Washington's Blog 21 January 2013
Coretta Scott King: “We have done what we can to reveal the truth, and we now urge you as members of the media, and we call upon elected officials, and other persons of influence to do what they can to share the revelation of this case to the widest possible audience.” – King Family Press Conference, Dec. 9, 1999.
From the King Center on the family’s civil trial that found the US government guilty in Martin’s assassination:
After four weeks of testimony and over 70 witnesses in a civil trial in Memphis, Tennessee, twelve jurors reached a unanimous verdict on December 8, 1999 after about an hour of deliberations that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated as a result of a conspiracy. In a press statement held the following day in Atlanta, Mrs. Coretta Scott King welcomed the verdict, saying ,
“There is abundant evidence of a major high level conspiracy in the assassination of my husband, Martin Luther King, Jr. And the civil court’s unanimous verdict has validated our belief. I wholeheartedly applaud the verdict of the jury and I feel that justice has been well served in their deliberations. This verdict is not only a great victory for my family, but also a great victory for America. It is a great victory for truth itself. It is important to know that this was a SWIFT verdict, delivered after about an hour of jury deliberation.
The jury was clearly convinced by the extensive evidence that was presented during the trial that, in addition to Mr. Jowers, the conspiracy of the Mafia, local, state and federal government agencies, were deeply involved in the assassination of my husband. The jury also affirmed overwhelming evidence that identified someone else, not James Earl Ray, as the shooter, and that Mr. Ray was set up to take the blame. I want to make it clear that my family has no interest in retribution. Instead, our sole concern has been that the full truth of the assassination has been revealed and adjudicated in a court of law… My husband once said, “The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”


  

crisis! I forgot a crisis

The first mistake in blogging is not being current.
I used a story from the Reformed Broker, but it
was from 18th of December, last year.

So, I forgot about some crises that have happened
since the power brokers took time off for
Christmas, to reflect on 2012, and to play:

Monopoly: the Real F%^&king Thing. No Shit!
Life-size pawns, also known as Prime Minister X

The very week that I wrote the blog about the
lack of crises, we [the West] opened a new
chapter in the re-colonisation of the world,
with the Mali conflict and the invasion
of an Algerian gas-works.

It seems in both cases the West will decide
to "forcefully remove our proxies named Al-Squida"
"uhm, sorry, that's for the Davos conference
with Goldman Sachs"
"We must forcefully control all of Africa once again
because righteous bloggers have discovered how
our 'aid' ends up right back in our offshore bank accounts"
"you can't trust Third Worlders. They don't kill enough"
"Al-quida are the gold ole boys"


Sunday, 20 January 2013

Lost years become decade, and then a generation

Japan, which started on the skids 15 years before the rest
of the West, is our guiding light. They've bailed out their
economy and their banks. They've bailed out big zombie
companies.


[moral hazard. Japanese Banksters' kids playing with toys, Ferraris]

Their jobs have left for China. Birth rates are down and
people are getting poorer. But, Japan has refused to give
in to reality.


CRAPTASTIC "Reira! got me on ma knees"

That's great. Get ready for another 15 years of bullcrap for
the rest of us.
Retiring soon? don't
finishing school? get another degree
working 2 jobs? get a third
got skills? move to China or Saudi

need more room for your Chinese products? 
get a smaller home
-that's only because you can't afford your rent any more,
having lost your mortgage too.

what I'm saying is: our elected leaders have already
marked out the post 2008 decade as a zero sum gain, at best.

They're only doing that because they don't want to bring
the banks to heal, even between election campaigns.
They'd rather ruin every one the social democratic habits
we had, and have built for us, as a society. It will all be
privatised and we're going back to the Middle Ages.
How's your gardening, paisan?

But, there's hope, from a hedge fund manager! Ain't things
screwed up enough?
Anyway, Kyle Bass seems to think that Japan will implode
in 3-5 years. The only hope is that the other big Western
countries will not have enough wiggle room to get their
banking untangled by then, which will make the whole
Wicker Man globalised system burn up.

I'll explain the wiggle room conundrum. It's akin to a
Mexican standoff, with everybody holding their guns,
butt nobody can act because of the risk to themselves.
That's this vaunted globalised financial market. It's
ready-aye-ready for mass financial hari-kiri. So, if
the West pulls out of its Japanese investments too
quickly, Japan goes tits-up, and then every other
Western country goes tits-up.
[bad for everybody, short term, but then the Debt
Austerity Olympics will have ended.]
China & India are withdrawing from Dollar World,
with its Treasury paper & derivatives,
but oh, so slowly, as to not harm their remaining
investments.

So, 3-5 years for the Bonfire of the Financials. Stock
up on wood for heating.

Read 'em and weep: Mish

Kyle Bass on the End of the Debt Supercycle and a Coming Massive Devaluation of the Yen; Most Difficult Time to Invest; The Belief Bubble

Late last month, Kyle Bass, managing partner of Hayman Capital, shared his thoughts in a video at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business Investing Conference with Professor Ken Eades.
It is a fantastic interview that echoes many of the things I have been saying about Japan for quite some time.

Link if video does not play: Conversation with Kyle Bass
Interview Snips

...    A lot has happened in Japan in the last 12 months. In fact, in the last 2 months we believe Japan has crossed that proverbial Rubicon. We think that you've seen 20 years of conjecture regarding Japan's eventual demise. And now we see a point where, in the last couple months what you see is a continued deterioration in their balance of trade. It's actually running at about negative $100 billion or close to 10 trillion Yen. And we think given this resurgence of Chinese nationalism over the Senkaku crisis [disputed islands], you're going to see that move another 1.5 to 2 percent or another $100 billion. Put that in perspective. What that means is we could see full current account negativity in Japan in October. That's something nobody is ready for.

    Think about it. You have a secular decline in the population, you have a balance of trade that is literally being rewritten and falling off a cliff, and their GDP is now tracking negative 3.5 or 4 percent.

    So what has to happen in Japan. Now their backs are against the wall. They have a full crisis, and they absolutely have to change the manner in which they deal with their currency. And so we think over the last couple of months they have crossed the final Rubicon that turns the whole situation around and weakens the Yen from a currency perspective. Then you are going to start to see, we think, in the next 12-18 months a move in their rates.
    Basically Japan is entering its final checkmate phase of the game.

Crisis! no new crises, this week

It's now the new normal that we a new crisis each week.
financial
banking
money laudering
fiscal cliff
Greece is broke
Greece is even more brok
Greece's haircut will kill us all
Greece's haircut means its debt goes up
Anyway, these crises are designed to make us numb to any and all
political problems. It used to be, in the good old days, politicians
would lull us to sleep with boring speeches about national pride and
the anthem, the Queen's governor general. Normal stuff.
Anyway, it takes a reformed broker to help us find new crises.

Read 'em: Reformed Broker
Manufacturing the Next Crisis
    Joshua M Brown
    December 18th, 2012
Well, it appears that after five weeks, lots of press conference theatrics and a carton of Newport Lights, Obama and Boehner may be ready to make a deal.
Which is fantastic - unless of course you're the Chief Page View Officer at the web property of a mainstream media organization or a ratings-obsessed cable news producer who's forgotten the nobler purpose of the Fourth Estate somewhere along the way.
Already, I can see that the lack of crisis is wearing on the machinery...every single major media outlet picked up a non-story about Instagram today and breathlessly reported it like the fucking Siege of Leningrad.
If the Cliff bomb is diffused and the asteroid fails to hit earth this time, you're going to need a brand new crisis to keep 'em clicking and tuning in.  Because I'm in the solutions business, I've made a new crisis list just in case Europe fails to implode and this Fiscal Cliff business ends up being resolved without a 3000-point stock market sell-off.
For your next crisis, I humbly suggest one of the following:
1. Teenage Dividend Abuse
2. Too Much Employment
3. Hobbitgate
4. The War on Jean Shorts
5. Killer Bees
6. Africanized Killer Bees
7. Groupon Bailout
8. The Blu-Ray Glut
9. Temple Run Doping Scandal
10. Snookflation
Anyway, they're all yours and I'm sure you'll find a way to scare the shit out of someone!
Happy programming!