Stop worrying about your image. You're a footie player

The Times reported that Wayne Rooney is not paying much tax.
2% on some part of his rather massive income (I'm gonna vom).
Nobody said he was breaking the law. He's just got good accountants.
That's capitalism. If you're rich, the world is your concubine.

So, the Rune complained to the press watchdog.

Look, Wayne. Nobody cares. The footie fans wouldn't read those pages,
even if they could read. They won't mind anyway, as long as you score.
The rest of us think you're all overpaid meatheads, so, no loss.

If he was so worried about his image, he should have stopped using
restaurant coupons. I read a northern paper a couple of years ago (and wrote a story)
about how Wayner and the Wife went to

that culinary hotbed

(lots of Michelins in the front yard)
suburban Chorley,

coupon in hand,

to a struggling restaurant (only struggling shops send coupons)

to claim a discounted dinner.

"Fookin' 'ell, I'm cheap."

"The chippie was closed by the health squad, otherwise..."