If I behaved like an average British MP, I'd be fired

Now, nobody's saying that a terminally ill lord shouldn't be excused from voting duty.

They're practically all over 100, and fairly crusty.

However, if you regularly missed 1 day a week (20%), you could expect your
employer to be upset. Well, the list of MPs who surpass 20% is stunning

the funniest part is those for whom there is no data.
Excuse? "Sorry, broke a fingernail"

Conor MurphySFNewry and ArmaghN/A419
Dawn PrimaroloLabBristol SouthN/A101
John BercowSpeakerBuckinghamN/A108
Lindsay HoyleLabChorleyN/A149
Nigel EvansCRibble ValleyN/A471
Graham AllenLabNottingham NorthN/A

the other stats: the jaded, the lazy and the supercilious (% of votes missed)
[the Guardian]
Roger Godsiff Lab Birmingham Hall Green (88.5)
Alan Keen Lab Feltham and Heston 78.8
David Cameron C Witney 75
Fabian Hamilton Lab Leeds North East 73.1
Ian Paisley Jnr DUP Antrim North 73.1
Margaret Ritchie SDLP Down South 73.1
Sammy Wilson DUP Antrim East 73.1
Gregory Campbell DUP Londonderry East 71.2
Nick Clegg LD Sheffield Hallam 71.2
Gordon Brown Lab Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath 67.3
Bill Esterson Lab Sefton Central 65.4
Ed Miliband Lab Doncaster North 65.4
Stuart Bell Lab Middlesbrough 65.4
Alan Johnson Lab Hull West and Hessle 63.5
George Osborne C Tatton 61.5
John Robertson Lab Glasgow North West 61.5
Dave Watts Lab St Helens North 59.6
Marsha Singh Lab Bradford West 59.6
Michael Meacher Lab Oldham West and Royton 59.6
Virendra Sharma Lab Ealing Southall 59.6
Edward Leigh C Gainsborough 57.7
Madeleine Moon Lab Bridgend 57.7
William Hague C Richmond (Yorks) 57.7
Alasdair McDonnell SDLP Belfast South 55.8
Andy Love Lab Edmonton 55.8
Dai Havard Lab Merthyr Tydfil and Rhymney 55.8
Eric Joyce Lab Falkirk 55.8
Mike Wood Lab Batley and Spen 55.8
Sandra Osborne Lab Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock 55.8
Bob Ainsworth Lab Coventry North East 53.8
George Mudie Lab Leeds East 53.8
John Stanley C Tonbridge and Malling 53.8
Shaun Woodward Lab St Helens South and Whiston 53.8
Alan Meale Lab Mansfield 51.9
Angus Robertson SNP Moray 51.9
Austin Mitchell Lab Great Grimsby 51.9
Douglas Alexander Lab Paisley and Renfrewshire South 51.9
Frank Roy Lab Motherwell and Wishaw 51.9
Geraint Davies Lab Swansea West 51.9
Peter Tapsell C Louth and Horncastle 51.9
Ann Clwyd Lab Cynon Valley 50
Harriet Harman Lab Camberwell and Peckham 50
Ian Mearns Lab Gateshead 50
Jeffrey M Donaldson DUP Lagan Valley 50
Lisa Nandy Lab Wigan 50
Tom Greatrex Lab Rutherglen and Hamilton West 50
Charles Kennedy LD Ross, Skye and Lochaber 48.1
David Heyes Lab Ashton Under Lyne 48.1
Jim McGovern Lab Dundee West 48.1
Khalid Mahmood Lab Birmingham Perry Barr 48.1
Robert Smith LD Aberdeenshire West and Kincardine 48.1
Alistair Burt C Bedfordshire North East 46.2
Kate Hoey Lab Vauxhall 46.2
Mike Gapes Lab Ilford South 46.2
Nic Dakin Lab Scunthorpe 46.2
Pat Glass Lab Durham North West 46.2
Andrew Rosindell C Romford 44.2
Gisela Stuart Lab Birmingham Edgbaston 44.2
Hazel Blears Lab Salford and Eccles 44.2
Liam Byrne Lab Birmingham Hodge Hill 44.2
Lyn Brown Lab West Ham 44.2
Mark Williams LD Ceredigion 44.2
Paul Flynn Lab Newport West 44.2
Roger Gale C Thanet North 44.2
Sian James Lab Swansea East 44.2
William McCrea DUP Antrim South 44.2
Andrew Mitchell C Sutton Coldfield 42.3
Andrew Stephenson C Pendle 42.3
Chuka Umunna Lab Streatham 42.3
David Miliband Lab South Shields 42.3
David Simpson DUP Upper Bann 42.3
Dominic Raab C Esher and Walton 42.3
Hugo Swire C Devon East 42.3
Keith Vaz Lab Leicester East 42.3
Liam Fox C Somerset North 42.3
Margaret Hodge Lab Barking 42.3
Martin Caton Lab Gower 42.3
Simon Danczuk Lab Rochdale 42.3
Stephen O'Brien C Eddisbury 42.3
Toby Perkins Lab Chesterfield 42.3
Vince Cable LD Twickenham 42.3
Alun Michael Lab Cardiff South and Penarth 40.4
Andrew Smith Lab Oxford East 40.4
Andy Burnham Lab Leigh 40.4
Danny Alexander LD Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey 40.4
David Ruffley C Bury St Edmunds 40.4
Derek Twigg Lab Halton 40.4
Emily Thornberry Lab Islington South and Finsbury 40.4
Gerald Kaufman Lab Manchester Gorton 40.4
Jamie Reed Lab Copeland 40.4
Jim Dobbin Lab Heywood and Middleton 40.4
Joan Ruddock Lab Lewisham Deptford 40.4
Mark Durkan SDLP Foyle 40.4
Siobhain McDonagh Lab Mitcham and Morden 40.4
Stephen Pound Lab Ealing North 40.4
Tessa Jowell Lab Dulwich and West Norwood 40.4
Alistair Darling Lab Edinburgh South West 38.5
Andrew Gwynne Lab Denton and Reddish 38.5
Anne Begg Lab Aberdeen South 38.5
Craig Whittaker C Calder Valley 38.5
David Blunkett Lab Sheffield Brightside and Hillsborough 38.5
David Lammy Lab Tottenham 38.5
Denis MacShane Lab Rotherham 38.5
Fiona Mactaggart Lab Slough 38.5
Francis Maude C Horsham 38.5
Guto Bebb C Aberconwy 38.5
Iain Duncan Smith C Chingford and Woodford Green 38.5
Jack Straw Lab Blackburn 38.5
Jim Murphy Lab Renfrewshire East 38.5
Jim Paice C Cambridgeshire South East 38.5
Linda Riordan Lab Halifax 38.5
Margaret Curran Lab Glasgow East 38.5
Mark Hendrick Lab Preston 38.5
Natascha Engel Lab Derbyshire North East 38.5
Penny Mordaunt C Portsmouth North 38.5
Pete Wishart SNP Perth and Perthshire North 38.5
Russell Brown Lab Dumfries and Galloway 38.5
Adam Holloway C Gravesham 36.5
Ann Coffey Lab Stockport 36.5
Ben Bradshaw Lab Exeter 36.5
Catherine McKinnell Lab Newcastle upon Tyne North 36.5
Cathy Jamieson Lab Kilmarnock and Loudoun 36.5
Eilidh Whiteford SNP Banff and Buchan 36.5
Frank Dobson Lab Holborn and St Pancras 36.5
Jeremy Browne LD Taunton Deane 36.5
Jeremy Hunt C Surrey South West 36.5
John Baron C Basildon and Billericay 36.5
John Leech LD Manchester Withington 36.5
Louise Bagshawe C Corby 36.5
Louise Ellman Lab Liverpool Riverside 36.5
Maria Eagle Lab Garston and Halewood 36.5
Mark Prisk C Hertford and Stortford 36.5
Mary Creagh Lab Wakefield 36.5
Michael Connarty Lab Linlithgow and Falkirk East 36.5
Michael Dugher Lab Barnsley East 36.5
Pamela Nash Lab Airdrie and Shotts 36.5
Paul Farrelly Lab Newcastle-under-Lyme 36.5
Peter Luff C Worcestershire Mid 36.5
Richard Shepherd C Aldridge-Brownhills 36.5
Sadiq Khan Lab Tooting 36.5
Tom Watson Lab West Bromwich East 36.5
Barry Gardiner Lab Brent North 34.6
Brian H Donohoe Lab Ayrshire Central 34.6
Frank Field Lab Birkenhead 34.6
George Howarth Lab Knowsley 34.6
Gerry Sutcliffe Lab Bradford South 34.6
Henry Bellingham C Norfolk North West 34.6
Hugh Bayley Lab York Central 34.6
Jesse Norman C Hereford and Herefordshire South 34.6
John Redwood C Wokingham 34.6
Jonathan Reynolds Lab Stalybridge and Hyde 34.6
Meg Munn Lab Sheffield Heeley 34.6
Michael Fallon C Sevenoaks 34.6
Mike Weir SNP Angus 34.6
Nigel Dodds DUP Belfast North 34.6
Richard Drax C Dorset South 34.6
Stewart Hosie SNP Dundee East 34.6
Tom Clarke Lab Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill 34.6
Bridget Phillipson Lab Houghton and Sunderland South 32.7
Caroline Flint Lab Don Valley 32.7
David Davies C Monmouth 32.7
David Hamilton Lab Midlothian 32.7
Fiona O'Donnell Lab East Lothian 32.7
Gerald Howarth C Aldershot 32.7
Glenda Jackson Lab Hampstead and Kilburn 32.7
Graham Stringer Lab Blackley and Broughton 32.7
Gregg McClymont Lab Cumbernauld, Kilsyth and Kirkintilloch East 32.7
Iain Wright Lab Hartlepool 32.7
Ivan Lewis Lab Bury South 32.7
Jenny Chapman Lab Darlington 32.7
John Mann Lab Bassetlaw 32.7
Jon Trickett Lab Hemsworth 32.7
Julie Hilling Lab Bolton West 32.7
Margaret Beckett Lab Derby South 32.7
Mark Garnier C Wyre Forest 32.7
Simon Reevell C Dewsbury 32.7
Theresa May C Maidenhead 32.7
Tim Farron LD Westmorland and Lonsdale 32.7
Tom Harris Lab Glasgow South 32.7
Yasmin Qureshi Lab Bolton South East 32.7
Andrew Miller Lab Ellesmere Port and Neston 30.8
Andrew Tyrie C Chichester 30.8
Angus MacNeil SNP Na h-Eileanan an Iar 30.8
Edward Davey LD Kingston and Surbiton 30.8
Gavin Shuker Lab Luton South 30.8
Graham Stuart C Beverley and Holderness 30.8
Jack Dromey Lab Birmingham Erdington 30.8
Jim Shannon DUP Strangford 30.8
Jim Sheridan Lab Paisley and Renfrewshire North 30.8
Joe Benton Lab Bootle 30.8
John McDonnell Lab Hayes and Harlington 30.8
Julian Lewis C New Forest East 30.8
Michael McCann Lab East Kilbride, Strathaven and Lesmahagow 30.8
Neil Carmichael C Stroud 30.8
Nick Hurd C Ruislip, Northwood and Pinner 30.8
Oliver Letwin C Dorset West 30.8
Owen Paterson C Shropshire North 30.8
Peter Hain Lab Neath 30.8
Richard Ottaway C Croydon South 30.8
Rory Stewart C Penrith and The Border 30.8
Rosie Winterton Lab Doncaster Central 30.8
Shabana Mahmood Lab Birmingham Ladywood 30.8
Tim Yeo C Suffolk South 30.8
Alan Whitehead Lab Southampton Test 28.8
Alison McGovern Lab Wirral South 28.8
Alison Seabeck Lab Plymouth Moor View 28.8
Barbara Keeley Lab Worsley and Eccles South 28.8
Chris Evans Lab Islwyn 28.8
Chris Ruane Lab Vale of Clwyd 28.8
Clive Efford Lab Eltham 28.8
David Davis C Haltemprice and Howden 28.8
David Morris C Morecambe and Lunesdale 28.8
David Wright Lab Telford 28.8
Emma Reynolds Lab Wolverhampton North East 28.8
Frank Doran Lab Aberdeen North 28.8
Gloria De Piero Lab Ashfield 28.8
Graham Brady C Altrincham and Sale West 28.8
Hugh Robertson C Faversham and Kent Mid 28.8
Huw Irranca-Davies Lab Ogmore 28.8
Hywel Francis Lab Aberavon 28.8
Ian Lavery Lab Wansbeck 28.8
Jeremy Corbyn Lab Islington North 28.8
Jim Dowd Lab Lewisham West and Penge 28.8
Jonathan Edwards PC Carmarthen East and Dinefwr 28.8
Karen Buck Lab Westminster North 28.8
Kevin Barron Lab Rother Valley 28.8
Lilian Greenwood Lab Nottingham South 28.8
Mark Lazarowicz Lab Edinburgh North and Leith 28.8
Michael Gove C Surrey Heath 28.8
Naomi Long Alliance Belfast East 28.8
Nick Harvey LD Devon North 28.8
Owen Smith Lab Pontypridd 28.8
Ronnie Campbell Lab Blyth Valley 28.8
Stephen McPartland C Stevenage 28.8
Thomas Docherty Lab Dunfermline and Fife West 28.8
Tobias Ellwood C Bournemouth East 28.8
Yvette Cooper Lab Normanton, Pontefract and Castleford 28.8
Anas Sarwar Lab Glasgow Central 26.9
Anne McGuire Lab Stirling 26.9
Barry Sheerman Lab Huddersfield 26.9
Cheryl Gillan C Chesham and Amersham 26.9
Chris Grayling C Epsom and Ewell 26.9
Chris Williamson Lab Derby North 26.9
Christopher Chope C Christchurch 26.9
David Amess C Southend West 26.9
Desmond Swayne C New Forest West 26.9
Ed Balls Lab Morley and Outwood 26.9
Elizabeth Kendall Lab Leicester West 26.9
Graeme Morrice Lab Livingston 26.9
Greg Knight C Yorkshire East 26.9
Heidi Alexander Lab Lewisham East 26.9
Helen Goodman Lab Bishop Auckland 26.9
James Brokenshire C Old Bexley and Sidcup 26.9
Jim Cunningham Lab Coventry South 26.9
Joan Walley Lab Stoke-on-Trent North 26.9
John Denham Lab Southampton Itchen 26.9
John Glen C Salisbury 26.9
John Healey Lab Wentworth and Dearne 26.9
Karl Turner Lab Hull East 26.9
Keith Simpson C Broadland 26.9
Kevan Jones Lab Durham North 26.9
Kevin Brennan Lab Cardiff West 26.9
Mary Glindon Lab Tyneside North 26.9
Nick Smith Lab Blaenau Gwent 26.9
Pat McFadden Lab Wolverhampton South East 26.9
Paul Murphy Lab Torfaen 26.9
Rosie Cooper Lab Lancashire West 26.9
Stephen Timms Lab East Ham 26.9
Stephen Twigg Lab Liverpool West Derby 26.9
Tom Blenkinsop Lab Middlesbrough South and Cleveland East 26.9
Alex Cunningham Lab Stockton North 25
Andy Slaughter Lab Hammersmith 25
Angela Eagle Lab Wallasey 25
Angela Smith Lab Penistone and Stocksbridge 25
Bob Stewart C Beckenham 25
Caroline Lucas Green Brighton Pavilion 25
Dave Anderson Lab Blaydon 25
David Crausby Lab Bolton North East 25
David Willetts C Havant 25
Debbie Abrahams Lab Oldham East and Saddleworth 25
Diana Johnson Lab Hull North 25
Diane Abbott Lab Hackney North and Stoke Newington 25
Gareth Thomas Lab Harrow West 25
Gary Streeter C Devon South West 25
Geoffrey Robinson Lab Coventry North West 25
Gordon Marsden Lab Blackpool South 25
Graham Jones Lab Hyndburn 25
Greg Barker C Bexhill and Battle 25
Helen Jones Lab Warrington North 25
Jessica Morden Lab Newport East 25
John Whittingdale C Maldon 25
John Woodcock Lab Barrow and Furness 25
Julie Elliott Lab Sunderland Central 25
Kelvin Hopkins Lab Luton North 25
Lorely Burt LD Solihull 25
Luciana Berger Lab Liverpool Wavertree 25
Nicholas Brown Lab Newcastle upon Tyne East 25
Paul Blomfield Lab Sheffield Central 25
Paul Goggins Lab Wythenshawe and Sale East 25
Philip Davies C Shipley 25
Priti Patel C Witham 25
Rachel Reeves Lab Leeds West 25
Richard Burden Lab Birmingham Northfield 25
Richard Fuller C Bedford 25
Susan Elan Jones Lab Clwyd South 25
Teresa Pearce Lab Erith and Thamesmead 25
Tony Lloyd Lab Manchester Central 25
Tristram Hunt Lab Stoke-on-Trent Central 25
Adrian Bailey Lab West Bromwich West 23.1
Alan Haselhurst C Saffron Walden 23.1
Amber Rudd C Hastings and Rye 23.1
Ann McKechin Lab Glasgow North 23.1
Anna Soubry C Broxtowe 23.1
Chi Onwurah Lab Newcastle upon Tyne Central 23.1
Chris Bryant Lab Rhondda 23.1
David Mundell C Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale 23.1
David Winnick Lab Walsall North 23.1
Douglas Carswell C Clacton 23.1
Ed Vaizey C Wantage 23.1
Eric Pickles C Brentwood and Ongar 23.1
Gemma Doyle Lab Dunbartonshire West 23.1
Gordon Banks Lab Ochil and Perthshire South 23.1
Grahame Morris Lab Easington 23.1
Ian Austin Lab Dudley North 23.1
Ian Lucas Lab Wrexham 23.1
James Arbuthnot C Hampshire North East 23.1
Jenny Willott LD Cardiff Central 23.1
John Cryer Lab Leyton and Wanstead 23.1
Malcolm Rifkind C Kensington 23.1
Malcolm Wicks Lab Croydon North 23.1
Mary Macleod C Brentford and Isleworth 23.1
Matthew Offord C Hendon 23.1
Meg Hillier Lab Hackney South and Shoreditch 23.1
Mike Hancock LD Portsmouth South 23.1
Nia Griffith Lab Llanelli 23.1
Nick Raynsford Lab Greenwich and Woolwich 23.1
Rob Flello Lab Stoke-on-Trent South 23.1
Roberta Blackman-Woods Lab Durham, City of 23.1
Rushanara Ali Lab Bethnal Green and Bow 23.1
Sarah Teather LD Brent Central 23.1
Simon Hughes LD Bermondsey and Old Southwark 23.1
Stella Creasy Lab Walthamstow 23.1
Stephen Hepburn Lab Jarrow 23.1
Steven Baker C Wycombe 23.1
Yvonne Fovargue Lab Makerfield 23.1
Albert Owen Lab Ynys Mon 21.2
Anne Milton C Guildford 21.2
Ben Gummer C Ipswich 21.2
Brian Binley C Northampton South 21.2
Chris Huhne LD Eastleigh 21.2
Daniel Poulter C Suffolk Central and Ipswich North 21.2
David Hanson Lab Delyn 21.2
Grant Shapps C Welwyn Hatfield 21.2
Greg Mulholland LD Leeds North West 21.2
Hilary Benn Lab Leeds Central 21.2
Ian Murray Lab Edinburgh South 21.2
Jason McCartney C Colne Valley 21.2
Jim Fitzpatrick Lab Poplar and Limehouse 21.2
John Spellar Lab Warley 21.2
Katy Clark Lab Ayrshire North and Arran 21.2
Mark Field C Cities of London and Westminster 21.2
Mark Hunter LD Cheadle 21.2
Mark Tami Lab Alyn and Deeside 21.2
Martin Horwood LD Cheltenham 21.2
Nicholas Soames C Sussex Mid 21.2
Pauline Latham C Derbyshire Mid 21.2
Sheila Gilmore Lab Edinburgh East 21.2
Tessa Munt LD Wells 21.2
Tony Cunningham Lab Workington 21.2
Vernon Coaker Lab Gedling 21.2
Wayne David Lab Caerphilly 21.2
Willie Bain Lab Glasgow North East 21.2