I was reading an article by Zoe Williams in the Guardian about how some of her parenting choices were different from those of her mother. As a parent, I've thought about many such issues. Since blogs are like a pub as a place for exchanging ideas, I offer:
1. I was parked in front of the idiot box (a mother's best friend) as a toddler (I remember I was so small my legs didn't even hang off the couch) and became hooked. I got partially un-hooked, not unhinged, by reading adbusters mag in my late teens. Check their website, above.
My kids watched nothing until past 2 and a half years old and they started by watching videos that I had bought. They don't watch the news, or commercials (and they know why) and don't watch when the family is eating. We supervise them and try to limit them to 3 hours a day (it's hard during winter). There happens to be a BBC radio documentary on the issue of what happens to young minds that are exposed to unsupervised tele-crap (and most of it qualifies). Opinions?
2. I did little in the way of homework, right through high school. Nobody checked. I paid attention in class and got great marks, until the important years.
We check on our child's homework and help occasionally by re-teaching concepts. My philosophy for success is a truism: The harder to you try, the easier the schoolwork gets, and the corollary. Works a charm.
3. It is vital, vital I say, to not misinterpret children's bad behaviour, especially in the first few years of their lives. Parents must not take such behaviour as a personal attack. So much of children's behaviour is instinctual, and prone to error. Parents must not remember each and every slight and allow that to colour their behaviour toward their children because doing so would create a disastrous family karma.
4. Children appreciate order and instinctively love their parents. Sometimes, though, a rap on the hands is necessary to stop silly behaviour, like when they knock stuff over intentionally, especially if the child is too young to understand the parent's desire to keep his house from falling apart. However, such measures must not ever break the spirit of the child; that amazing ability that children have to overcome adversity, and smile and play; the very definition of re-birth. Otherwise, there is a high price to be paid for fascistic control systems.
5. A child is a gift, not a chore to be finished, not a part of the order that must be kept, but a living, thinking, feeling, loving creature; a piece of the parents made whole for them to look at in wonder.
1. I was parked in front of the idiot box (a mother's best friend) as a toddler (I remember I was so small my legs didn't even hang off the couch) and became hooked. I got partially un-hooked, not unhinged, by reading adbusters mag in my late teens. Check their website, above.
My kids watched nothing until past 2 and a half years old and they started by watching videos that I had bought. They don't watch the news, or commercials (and they know why) and don't watch when the family is eating. We supervise them and try to limit them to 3 hours a day (it's hard during winter). There happens to be a BBC radio documentary on the issue of what happens to young minds that are exposed to unsupervised tele-crap (and most of it qualifies). Opinions?
2. I did little in the way of homework, right through high school. Nobody checked. I paid attention in class and got great marks, until the important years.
We check on our child's homework and help occasionally by re-teaching concepts. My philosophy for success is a truism: The harder to you try, the easier the schoolwork gets, and the corollary. Works a charm.
3. It is vital, vital I say, to not misinterpret children's bad behaviour, especially in the first few years of their lives. Parents must not take such behaviour as a personal attack. So much of children's behaviour is instinctual, and prone to error. Parents must not remember each and every slight and allow that to colour their behaviour toward their children because doing so would create a disastrous family karma.
4. Children appreciate order and instinctively love their parents. Sometimes, though, a rap on the hands is necessary to stop silly behaviour, like when they knock stuff over intentionally, especially if the child is too young to understand the parent's desire to keep his house from falling apart. However, such measures must not ever break the spirit of the child; that amazing ability that children have to overcome adversity, and smile and play; the very definition of re-birth. Otherwise, there is a high price to be paid for fascistic control systems.
5. A child is a gift, not a chore to be finished, not a part of the order that must be kept, but a living, thinking, feeling, loving creature; a piece of the parents made whole for them to look at in wonder.
